6 days

Tiny hands and curled-up feet, and how cute they looked today

2010-08-24T21:06:00.003+08:00

All babies do is eat, sleep and poop

2010-07-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

Baby Bliss

2010-04-18T14:16:00.003+08:00

Baby Blue

2010-04-18T14:12:00.003+08:00

Sleeping Beauty

2010-04-12T00:08:00.005+08:00

Dancing Baby

2010-03-25T22:56:00.005+08:00

20 days old

2010-03-24T20:11:00.005+08:00

so tiny

Our x'mas gift

2010-01-10T13:59:00.002+08:00

Bali Wedding 13 Sep 2008

2010-01-09T21:48:00.006+08:00

新文體創作 - 雙向Blog Post : : 第一篇之Keyser

2008-08-11T10:05:00.023+08:00

[要拜讀Keyser如何撰寫6 days的文篇，請按此。]

======================

我覺得很奇怪，仔細一看，發現同桌的那個男人一邊吸煙一邊從側面直盯盯地望著我。

他跟前放著一杯咖啡、一本簿，看他的表情好像正在思考著什麼也好像猶豫著什麼。飄逸的庸俗。洞察一切的愚昧。為什麼我的餐蛋麵還沒弄好，現在只剩下十五分鐘進食，今天來這裡的人特別多。

突如其來，身後傳來一把男聲: ｢呵梁生你好!可否給我簽名?｣吓? 簽名? 莫非他是什麼名人? 完全察覺不出來。｢你成立的網上王國很受歡迎，最近會否推出新遊戲?｣哦，又一個網絡創辦人，現在滿街都是追求科網夢的人，但真正成功的卻廖廖可數。這年頭只有想不到的，沒有做不到的。

男人挨近我低聲說: ｢借我一支筆可以嗎?｣他好像刻意放慢語速，抑揚頓挫的語調，至乎眉梢眼角的細緻表情，使人目眩。桌子下他的手指不經意地觸碰到我的小腿……

外面的陽光越來越猛，我沒有回頭，我想男人也沒有回頭，
我想男人也在想我沒有回頭，我想男人也在想我想他沒有回頭。

======================

He can't forget her

2008-07-22T14:34:00.001+08:00

Well. I can't make him forget about anyone. No one can crawl into someone else's mind and change it, nor should we ever wish to. It sounds as if he isn't over her yet. What I can do is to honor what he feels and thinks, and to honestly speak my truth about how I feel when he does something.

Wedding at Amigo

2008-06-03T12:25:00.004+08:00

Napoleon Cake

My favourite dish - sliced raw beef

Pre-wedding photo in Japan

2008-05-22T20:07:00.003+08:00

HK Wedding Invitation Card

2008-04-29T10:33:00.004+08:00

He always wear this Casio watch

2008-04-10T17:01:00.002+08:00

Can it be my Bali wedding invitation card cover?

2008-03-27T17:16:00.005+08:00

Nagano, Japan

2008-03-14T12:08:00.003+08:00

Valentine's Day in Paris

2008-02-22T12:05:00.008+08:00

Valentine's Night in Paris

2008-02-22T11:53:00.003+08:00

Le Pré Catalan RestaurantThe setting is divine, in the Bois de Boulogne, the woods to the west of Paris. The food is gourmet French cuisine, and the restaurant is a member of the “Relais Gourmand” group.

New Year's Resolution

2008-02-05T11:10:00.000+08:00

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

Tokyo Concert

2008-01-28T14:07:00.000+08:00

Snowfall in Tokyo on Jan 23

Wedding gown

2008-01-14T09:53:00.000+08:00

A view from home

2008-01-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

個蛋糕好靚呵

2008-01-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Location: Bali

2007-12-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

Ritz Carlton, Bali Resort & Spa

The place is beautiful

A view from home

2007-12-16T19:32:00.000+08:00

......headache

2007-12-16T17:07:00.000+08:00

Location: Bali

We're Engaged!

2007-12-07T12:59:00.001+08:00

C'est bon!

2007-11-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

Does he still loves his ex?

2007-11-21T16:57:00.000+08:00

It was wrong of him to tell you he loves you, when he still loves his ex. Love doesn't work like that.

He is not ready...

2007-11-01T12:24:00.000+08:00

If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances.

It seems that he's not ready yet.

Bali – Mola Mola (Sunfish)

2007-10-26T16:56:00.001+08:00

Bali - My First Diving Trip

2007-10-11T16:25:00.000+08:00

Oh… Don't Laugh

Guess what, today is my first day back at work after almost two weeks off. Think of all my colleague stuck here at the office while I went prancing in the paradise and just had as much fun as possible... Don't worry, they just give me hell when I get back.

Please believe me when I say, I really want to do this again! The diving trip was perfect and I appreciate it very much.

I like to be in a dream underwater world than to be in reality.

Touch

2007-09-28T16:58:00.001+08:00

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

Happy Six Months

2007-09-19T15:20:00.000+08:00

Whole-hearted listening

2007-09-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

Young couples often dream of growing old together. How can you really stay together for a lifetime? Are feelings of happiness the kind of "glue" that keeps people together? Not likely, and certainly not alone. What about commitment? Does it take a strict sense of duty and conscious decisions to make a lifetime marriage possible? That's part of it. But there is something more.

Day-to-day activities and events give partners shared experiences and memories. Over time, these small moments grow into a shared history that is deep and binding. We feel strongly connected to our another half not just because we feel love for him or her, but because we have a life together, every day, including good times, and bad times.

Another way is simply to listen to our partner with our full attention. Supportive, whole-hearted listening lets our partner know that he or she is really our first priority. It takes time and effort to understand one another and to be cheerleaders for each other.

How to Keep Love Growing Through the Ups And Downs

2007-09-05T14:21:00.000+08:00

You trust each other that you won't run off if things get bad - you know you're in it for the long haul.

You've seen each other at your best, and you've seen each other on those rumpled mornings when you feel completely awful. Yes, you know you're both not perfect. But what you are, you accept with love and affection. Your relationship isn't about rushing to look fancy all the time - you like each other just the way you are normally. If you start to get grumpy about something, one of you will back off and talk about it later. You grow to learn when one of you is upset about a topic and to work around it. If you've reached this stage - this is what real love is all about.

Although things may start out wonderfully in the beginning, there is always the fear that it won't last, that difficulties will arise, feelings will start to change. Then when things alter, as they naturally must, many have the mistaken idea that the love is disappearing.

When we initially fall in love, we feel we have found the perfect person? A tremendous excitement takes over. We project many wonderful qualities upon our partner and block out any faults. Then we feel that we, too, must be so wonderful to have a partner who is so ideal.

This is a huge demand to make upon another person, but it happens anyway. When this demand is not fulfilled, a deep disappointment can arise. It seems as though the partner has failed us, but in truth it is the unrealistic demands we have made that is causing pain.

No one has to change for you to love them. Nor do you have to change to be worthy of love. You can never change enough to please another person. The work of love is to be able to love the other just as they are, and to also love yourself.

The work of love is the work of learning to accept the other person, and also to accept yourself. Love is not a feeling that stays the same all the time. Love is a verb. It grows as we face change and difficulty.

What do you do when your boyfriend's ex still wants to be friends with him?

2007-09-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

Someone ask me: What do you do when your boyfriend's ex still wants to be friends with him but you are afraid it could develop into more?

Let him be friends with her. Don't let the jealously take over your emotions, let him decide. Because if you tell him what to do, and he doesn't like it he'll find a way to be her friend behind your back if that's what he wants to do. Plus, they broke up for a reason, and he is with you now. Although I'd been burnt once on this, relationships are built on trust, love and respect, so you must love him, otherwise the relationship is pointless. If he loves you and you love him, trust him to make the right decision.

Where's your fire?

2007-08-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

Every idea begins with a spark of inspiration. That spark is always created by the friction of a desire rubbing up against a barrier. We come equipped with a load of desires. When our desires are easily satisfied, they burn themselves out. There's no longer a need for passion. So we move up our hierarchy of needs to until we find another barrier. That's just the way we are. Pretty soon, we're headed for the moon.

We can sit for hours, fascinated with the warmth, glow, and dance of a fire. Just as we can satisfy ourselves reading biographies of great explorers, inventors, and conquerors. Or watching the exploits of passionate people on TV and in the movies. Or following them in the news.

These pictures of great lives and harrowing adventures stoke the fires of our passions. Some of us take our passions one step further. Like the greats, we make a promise. We commit to following our passion where it leads. Once we make our picture public, we are seldom alone. Our creative fire attracts the creative fire of other people focused on the same or a similar picture.

How can you keep your creative fire hot without getting burned? If you're too worried about that, you've probably not going to make much creative fire.

昨天、今天、明天

2007-08-28T11:38:00.000+08:00

當我們回顧過去、放眼未來時，會發現“今天”的顯現和顯現對境一個個即來即失，就如同坐在快速行駛的列車上看窗外的花草樹木。今天我們使用的物品、居住的房屋以及稱之為“我”的五蘊身體等等的一切，都不再是昨天的，因為昨天的一切已經顯現而又消失，走向了過去。時間，如同魔鬼般張著天地大的兇猛的嘴、呲著像陡峭的雪山般堅厲的牙，吞噬了這所有的一切。就當我轉動筆尖寫下這幾句話時，時間又已經悄無聲息地吞噬掉我們生命裏的寶貴幾分鐘，我們的壽命又已經減少了幾分鐘。

很多年前活潑可愛的你、現在年輕瀟灑的你、未來老態龍鍾的你，如果這三個不一樣的形像同時出現在你面前，你認為哪一個是真正的你？如果說這三個都是你，那麼你就變成了三個。這樣推算，每年都會出現新的你；如果再仔細計算，則每一刹那都會出現新的你，那你就變成無數個了；再進一步仔細分析，“一刹那”也可以細分，到最終，連細微的“一刹那”也找不到了。我們的身體並不是在童年、青年、老年分時段發生變化，也不是每個月才變化一次，而是不留痕跡地每一刹那都在發生變化。短暫的人生，不過是上演了一場生、老、病、死的短暫歌舞罷了，如同天空中劃出了一道刹那間的閃電，對如此短暫的人生，卻作長遠的打算，那只能是自己欺騙自己。

Talking to your brain

2007-08-23T09:53:00.000+08:00

Hey wake up! We've got to write another article.
Give it a rest, will you?
Come on, you've got no reason to be so grumpy.
Reason? What's that?
You're so difficult to deal with sometimes.
No, I'm not.
Yes you are. I can never get you do what I want.
That's because you're always trying to control me.
But I need an idea. Now! You know I can't write without you.
You interrupted a wonderful daydream.
How am I supposed to get anything done with a better half like you?
What's to get done? Life is a process, not a product.
That's easy for you to say, up in there clouds, no contact with reality. But I have to write an article.
You want ideas, this is where they come from.
So give me an idea.
Are you listening?
Yes.
Promise to take good care of it?
Promise.
Promise to defend it against all your left-brain friends?
Promise.
Promise never to compromise it?
What do you want from me?
What do you think?
I have no idea.
Yes, you do. I just gave you one.
What?
You weren't writing it down?
Come on. Talking to yourself is bad enough, but writing it down, that's...
That's what?
...not a bad idea!
You're welcome.

The most creative brains

2007-08-21T09:44:00.000+08:00

The New York PR agency, Porter Novelli, conducted a survey of 100 executives from America's top companies, They asked, "Which is more important, intelligence or creativity?" 59% cast their lot with creativity. 28% went with intelligence.

That's the good news. They also asked, "Do American schools do enough to foster creativity?"76% said no. Only 14% said yes. It's still good news for executives, though. According to the survey, tight budgets do little to limit creativity. And deadlines actually help. But consider whom they asked.

The most creative companies they could think of were Apple, 3M, McDonalds, and Disney. The most creative people they named were Ross Perot, Steven Jobs, and Thomas Edison. In that order, the most encouraging news is the belief among 88% of America’s most stellar executives that their"most creative days are ahead..." Nearly half said they were more creative than their bosses. And 43% said that they themselves have been accused of being "too creative." Way to go!

Finally, if you're looking for the best time to present your big idea to the boss, you gotta get 'em as early yin the morning as possible. That's when 46% say they are most creative. It drops dramatically throughout the rest of the day with a little positive blip in the evening.

Thinking with a pencil

2007-08-20T17:54:00.001+08:00

Crazy boss

2007-08-18T09:52:00.000+08:00

Don't ever admit you're working for lousy boss. Because it's been shown that lousy bosses hire incompetent people. Any you don't want to identify yourself with this phenomenon.

To keep good people in their place, bad boss belittles and intimidates. He keeps tight reigns on information, discourages new ideas, and allows nothing to happen without their approval. Bad boss is critical, indecisive, inconsistent, and demanding. He never listens, rarely show approval, and have no sense of humor.

He makes as much noise as he does salary. And we could get along with a lot less of both. You spend valuable time planning when to approach him, because you want to hit him when his mood swings your way. He is never around, and when he is, his door is locked. You have to do everything his way. He cares about no one but himself. Today he's pondering how to pose for his corporate portrait. He ignores or humiliates anyone who threatens to mar his image. And if he's listening, he has no idea who I'm talking about.

Why do we tolerate? The corporate drive for profit accommodates anything that works, including tyrants. And the only thing that will improve conditions, is your insistence on standards of common decency.

The good news is, there are better bosses out there, and they listen. They realize that money-making ideas can come from anyone. But to listen, bosses have to trust. A boss who doesn’t trust is probably in over his head.

Be a good wife

2007-08-17T13:04:00.000+08:00

Think about it: what simple things in life could you do to make someone else's life better -- and what would you appreciate the most if it were done for you?

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile. Don't greet him with complaints or problems.
Showing respect for his family and friends. You should avoid putting him in a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife.
Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence.
Make the home pretty.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Don't badger him with inane banalities -- whatever hot topic of discussion you have, unless it is ill or on fire, can probably wait for you to talk about it until he has time to catch his breath.
Pleasing him if he is angry -- If he was angry because of external reasons then keep silent until his anger goes.
Make the evening his. Never complain instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Treat him like you would expect to be treated and recognize the value of time alone or with other friends. (assuming he is loyal and not a schmuck -- if he can't be trusted to do this, get rid of him)
Physical beautification -- Take good care of your body and fitness, beautify and perfume yourself.
Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't question his judgment or integrity. The point is he should be trustworthy and you should treat him as such and in return his job is to take care of you.

A good wife always knows her place. Yep -- in the house and in the senate, too!

Hope this inspired a few smiles, and a few more kind actions towards our partners.

What would you do if your boyfriend coming back home late into the night?

2007-08-17T13:02:00.001+08:00

6 hours is neither long nor short, but 6 hours into the night is quite bad. He was out that long and hasn't told me he intends to be that long. I feel like calling him but don't want to be so obvious and give him any pressure. I tried to call him after 5 hours (at 4am) but he didn't pick up the call which made it worst. It would be better if my other half knows to call me as I worry, so as long as he calls to let me know he is still alive and not lying in a ditch then that's fine.

Commitment

2007-08-16T09:21:00.000+08:00

As for commitment, I think it is a result, not a component of love. Two people will naturally want to stay together if they are in a loving relationship. I can say that a conscious commitment to stay together was never part of the picture for either of us. Rather, the desire to stay together was the outcome of loving each other. On the other hand, a person who baulks at committing themselves because they value freedom more than the relationship is not tasting the fruits of love, or so it seems to me.

2007-08-15T12:45:00.000+08:00

Leaving 15 days----Staying 8 days----Leaving 13 days----Staying 12 days----Leaving 12 days----20/60----1/3

'Behind the scene' painting

2007-08-15T12:25:00.001+08:00

There is a painting I happened to drip yellow paint on. At first I was terribly upset, but then I started enjoying it. The trickle looked like a crack; it turned the flowers into a battered old backdrop, a backdrop with some flowers painted on it. I began playing with the crack, filling it out, wondering what might be visible behind it. I called it “behind the scene”.

On the surface, there was always an impeccably realistic world, but underneath, behind the paper, lurked something different, something mysterious or abstract.

Communication

2007-08-13T11:44:00.000+08:00

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: “I Love You.” Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word – it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and... why are you waiting?

Making love

2007-08-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

Romance and passion are about taking in information and energy, as opposed to broadcasting them. So it is not about being sexy or being attractive, it is about being interested in your partner and being receptive and knowing them, and taking in something deep and fundamental about them. It is a moment-to-moment decision to be interested, to be complimentary. People good at relationships have this habit of looking for things to appreciate.

You don't marry someone you can live with

2007-08-07T14:34:00.001+08:00

To my dearest and loveliest friend:

It's hard to keep waiting for the 'right one', but it's worth it in the end. You are worth having someone be loving and kind and special and make bells ring in your head, to make your heart pound and your palms sweaty.

People say: You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.

隱藏在心中的事

2007-08-07T14:32:00.001+08:00

芝宇久違心耿耿

鬢邊猶染舊烟痕

暗竹浮烟人寂寂

一一心頭印作痕

注:“久違芝宇，時切葭思”這是舊時書信中常用的客套語，意思是久不見面，時刻想念。芝宇，即眉宇。

詩的好歹，意思的深淺，姑且勿論；於今數年，這是醒過來的人的真聲音。

Pull your head out of your ass

2007-08-01T10:03:00.000+08:00

The nights with THE CURE & Transformer

2007-07-31T11:06:00.000+08:00

A night with THE CURE - This legendary British post-punk band performed live in HK for the first time ever last night at the AsiaWorld Arena. It was brilliant! Robert Smith was great. I was standing in the middle facing Robert. They played almost 3 hours with a lot of classics and hits. They put this much energy into the night. It was intense. The sound mix was the best I've ever heard and every song was powerful and deep. The music was amazingly "full". They got my body shaking the whole night. The HK crowds were much much milder than anywhere else...it's good so nobody got hurt. Thanks my boyfriend for introducing the band to me. When they were playing "Lovesong" my boyfriend was holding me close and singing close to my ears. Thanks again Robert, Simon, Porl and Jason.

He was dancing a little on the left corner of the stage...VERY cute.

The movie TRANSFORMER - It's as juvenile as it exhilarating, as staggeringly-stupid as it is keenly well-crafted. This is a primal entertainment, brute force vs. brute force, bad robots vs. good robots. The United States federal government sits somewhere between the rival robot groups. Generally, leaders are buffoons, more hindrance than help, while grunts on the ground are brave and battle-tested. When Transformers isn't going over the top, it's often a fun summer-movie ride. Besides, Captain Lennox is cute.

I feared the moment of separation

2007-07-30T09:48:00.000+08:00

Leaving 15 days----------Staying 8 days----------Another Leaving (13 days)

Up thoughts for down moments

2007-07-30T09:47:00.001+08:00

Love is an understanding that is so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person, and accepting the other person just the way they are and not trying to change them to be something else.

Tooth pain

2007-07-27T10:41:00.001+08:00

Few things are more uncomfortable than tooth pain. You feel like you cannot eat, the pain may be so great that you cannot think, and life with tooth pain can be miserable.

I woke up this morning with the worst ache from a back tooth ever!! I also tried to get some sleep but couldn't, since it hurt so bad.

My dentist had one of those machines which can take an X-ray externally. You just strap on the lead padding, bite down on the mouth piece and stand perfectly still for about thirty seconds. You have no idea of the relief I went through when I realized they weren't going to try to wedge any of those little white X-ray films in my mouth. To cut a long story short, my dentist couldn't see anything wrong. She suggested seeing if it got worst, and then we'd react accordingly.

By lunchtime the pain was a lot worst. I can only chew on the side of my mouth that doesn't hurt...

Wakeboarding

2007-07-26T09:19:00.000+08:00

Wakeboarding is such a great sport that many people are getting hooked. An exciting sport giving you a whole new excitement, thrills, and fun all rolled into one.

Back at Home Only to Leave Again

2007-07-25T10:30:00.000+08:00

Back at home only to leave again, the up and down moments lie on.

Love is

2007-07-24T09:01:00.000+08:00

Love is being honest with yourself at all times; being honest with the other person at all times.

Love is

2007-07-23T09:04:00.000+08:00

Love is the excitement of planning things together; the excitement of doing things together.

Love is

2007-07-20T11:50:00.001+08:00

Love is having someone to scratch your back.

Love is togetherness forever.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

2007-07-19T09:00:00.001+08:00

Life's a gift and so are you!

Love is

2007-07-18T09:51:00.001+08:00

Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens;

missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times.

A bad day at work

2007-07-17T09:53:00.001+08:00

My blue skies fade to grey. I'm faking a smile with the coffee to go.

I've had a god damn bad fing day at work, one of those lousy days where everything seems to go wrong. We've all experienced a bad day at work. But when this happens, how do you turn your day around and make it pleasant instead of ruining it? Being optimistic and knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel is the driving force to overcoming negative barriers. Being able to pull away from the situation and look at it with perspective will often clear things up and permit you to see through the muck. I followed these tips but seems that it couldn't work this time.

I've been feeling down lately at work. I've stayed for 3 years trying to make it work, but I can't anymore. My heart wants to stay, but my soul needs to go. So where is the passion when I need it the most. Sounds pretty awful. I hope tomorrow is better.

Date with Destiny

2007-07-16T11:25:00.002+08:00

What do you think about fortune telling? I don't do that, so just before you push exodus before down my throat I was just wondering.

Why, in a society that has so warmly embraced technological development, do so many people place their faith in a craft that is so difficult to explain scientifically? One reason is that may be it works, or at least people believe it might work.

People say fortune tellers emphasize that their work is based on usually astrology, rather than any special ability on their part to see into the future. It builds upon details of your birth, they can produce a map of your life, identify the point you are now, and see why you are doing what you are doing. Fortune-telling's purported accuracy is perhaps one of the reasons it has been so ingrained in Chinese culture.

My mom set up one for me yesterday. The scary part is the fortune teller has been right about many things. She had no previous knowledge of me, but she pretty much got it right. She even knew my current situation, but I'm sorry I don't want to go into too much personal detail here. She used her special technique to measure if my boyfriend and I fit each other, she even predicted me giving birth.

Fortune tellers make generalizations and our minds take it from there. Any sort of fortune telling should be taken as indications of your future life, definitely they should never be considered as perfect predictions. Sure they are real but do they really work, and God doesn't want us involved.

Like anything it can be good or bad. Fortune tellers are neither good nor bad in the same way a knife or a car isn't evil by itself and can be used to help people or hurt them. I believe if I continue just as I am, this might happen. More often than not they tell you more about yourself than they do about your future, or how your current state of mind will affect your future. I really hope this wouldn't change anything. I try to have a good life, enjoy everyday, share with my beloved as much as I can, fill myself with challenges and interesting things everyday.

Destiny is always balanced by determinism. Nothing in life is to be fear only to be understood. The bad thing is that people lack of the courage to be responsible for their lives and make their own decisions, fortune-telling usually becomes an excuse.

My conclusion is... If you don't believe it, then it can surprise you. If you do believe it whole-heartedly, you certainly will be disappointed.

My parents adore HIM

2007-07-16T11:25:00.001+08:00

I recognize that my family and my boyfriend have made significant strides in the wake of high emotions and feelings. My mum, aunts, uncle all adore him because he is really personable. Thank them for making the integration of two significant parts of my life easier.

Happy Birthday to My Beloved Sis

2007-07-16T08:58:00.000+08:00

Intimacy II

2007-07-13T10:13:00.000+08:00

I believe that trust is the key to intimacy in a loving relationship between two adults. Trust is more than just a high degree of openness and honesty on both sides. It includes the faith that the other person can be counted on, that they will not behave irresponsibly or selfishly in important matters. Trusting another implies their loyalty and caring are unquestioned. Simply put, trust is confidence that we know where we stand with the other person, that they are 'on our side'. Ultimately, trusting someone means we do not fear them. Without some level of trust intimacy is not possible.

Intimacy I

2007-07-12T12:01:00.000+08:00

Intimacy is a way of relating rather than a feeling. Being intimate with a person means we are truly ourselves with them, without any kind of barrier or facade. This is only possible if we are fully comfortable with the other person, ideally to the point where we feel as though we are only with ourselves. This takes time, more exactly, it requires a long and mutual process of self-disclosure. Ultimately, intimacy means being entirely known by the other person, i.e. not consciously holding anything back. Montague Ullman explains the importance of this, "The freedom to let oneself be known is also the freedom to be oneself."

Giving vs Receiving

2007-07-11T09:52:00.001+08:00

The necessity of receiving is less obvious. If you are able to give but not to receive, then you are not putting yourself on the same level as the other person. When this is a pattern in the relationship it amounts to aloofness, though one is not normally conscious of this. It is only when you can both give and receive freely that there is a real connection with the other person. If you cannot receive then you remain separate. Nor is receiving as easy as it sounds. It is often easier to do a favour than to ask for one. An interesting aspect of receiving is that you will have a problem with receiving unless you are able to truly give without strings.

How much love you will give

2007-07-10T10:31:00.000+08:00

If you are not willing to give to the person your ostensibly love, then you do not really care about them. Of course, not all giving is an expression of love. The workaholic husband who gives money but begrudges his time is an obvious example. Giving in a loving way means contributing what the other person wants or needs, not what happens to come easily to you. Knowledge is needed since ignorance of the other person's needs may sabotage your giving. Nor is horsetrading - I give this if you give that - an expression of loving.

Diving in HK

2007-07-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

The weather on Sunday was very nice, sunny, a light breeze. Hong Kong diving is a different type of diving to what you get in a lot of the popular dive spots in Asia. At first sight there is less to see, and visibility is often not very good. You tend to have to focus on smaller things and swim quite slowly and carefully. You would find there are lots of soft coral, clown fish and anemones, crabs, and urchins.

The clownfish is one of the most common fish that splashing around Sai Kung waters. The first impression that this lively little fellow gives is that it is playing with you. In fact they are protective of their home, the anemone and their young ones or eggs.

Obviously pollution, over fishing, land fills and downright indifference (out of sight out of mind!) on the part of the Government and general population have all played their part in devastating underwater marine life over the years.

SHE

2007-07-09T10:03:00.000+08:00

Mind-blowing

2007-07-05T10:37:00.001+08:00

Boyfriend who travels for work and is gone often

2007-07-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

Would you purposefully choose to get involved in a relationship if you knew you wouldn't see your partner very often? I think it depends on the people involved at a particular point in time. If you like someone enough, you'll be willing to put up with things that you might not have in previous relationships. But even for the strongest couples, this type of situation can cause a strain.

And it's true – they are hard, one must have a high degree of trust, and the seemingly endless carting around of your belongings from one place to another.

It doesn't hurt when you're crazy punch-drunk mad about each other, count down the days until you're together again. While the time apart kills you, it makes the time both of you do spend together spectacular. But sometimes people around you seem to have more of a problem with your boyfriend's schedule than you do. They always ask you if you are sad and if you miss him and they look at you with pity.

On the bright side, one of the major benefits of ...is the fact that it forces you to learn how to verbally communicate with each other. Many relationships are based on fun, on joint activities, on social events. Couples aren't forced to tackle issues until they are cohabitating or married.

Do you surprise your man?

2007-06-29T15:36:00.000+08:00

"Do you ever surprise your man? Other than giving him gifts on his birthday or anniversary, do you surprise him? Do you tell him suddenly one fine morning, how much he means to you? Do you send him a note telling him how much you value his love? Do you make him feel good about himself by appreciating his qualities amongst friends? Do you make him feel happy with your surprises? Many women don't.

Every man likes appreciation. A man gets tired with the constant demands of his work. Sometimes few women don't support their men positively. They love to criticize and find faults. They forget and ignore his good qualities. How can they expect good relationships?"

One of the incredibly nice things to do for a man is to buy him flowers. Women receive flowers for special occasions and sometimes for no reason at all but men don't often receive flowers very often so sending him with a bouquet will be a welcomed surprise. He will appreciate the novelty of the gift and be delighted with the gesture.

Scuba diving

2007-06-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

The Great Lies of Scuba Diving

Sure, anyone can learn to dive!
Diving is perfectly safe!
Nah, you don't have to be a good swimmer to dive
You can learn to dive in just three days!

The ways to freak out the new diver onboard

Have him actually read the disclaimer form.
Tell her that everyone was commenting on how her butt looks much bigger underwater.

The signs you should quit scuba diving

When someone tells you that you must have dropped ten pounds, you look around for your weight belt.
You wake up and immediately backroll out of your bed.

Fish out of water

2007-06-22T16:16:00.000+08:00

My boyfriend enjoys SCUBA so naturally I was interested.

Scuba diving equipment has everything a man could wish for: valves (chrome), dials (luminous), compass (scientific) gas bottle (dangerous) and wet suit (cool). Nothing can really prepare you for your first experience of diving. If you imagine jumping into those IKEA coloured balls in the children's area and having Vanessa Feltz sit on top of you it might come close to the feeling. Even though you are only in a swimming pool there is a massive feeling of claustrophobia as you sink deeper and deeper underwater. The only thing keeping you alive is the breathing regulator in your mouth, which you grip on with your teeth as if your life depends on it. As indeed it does. You suck on that regulator like a piglet on it's mothers teat, looking mental with your bulging eyes and wild Don King hair. Learner divers are not an attractive sight.

I didn't enjoy ANY of my first diving experience. You get into trouble. You freak out. You get into more trouble. You freak out, this time with gusto. One thing leads to another.

Many reasons have been kicked around for the increase in incidents, but I believe the answer is very simple. The increased demand for agencies and instructors to train more and more divers has led to shorter, cheaper courses being run for relatively inexperienced divers. The inevitable result has been a drop in training standards and the emergence of a new breed of divers who simply are not adequately prepared to make deep mixed gas.

This is why we've had so many accidents – inexperienced divers have a minor problem and freak out. The thing is, if nobody tells you you're not ready to make these sorts of dives, how can you be expected to know until it's too late? Don't rush into teaching something you're not ready for.

My advice: Choose an instructor who cares. The casual ego centered instructor, male or female, who feels like he's the brave one because he can dive, who shows ridicule or lack of patience will make your lessons miserable, and you may never want to try again. Search for the instructor who is really a teacher and not just a person who relates the facts and techniques. The good instructor must be able to let you, the student, control the learning situation.

Blue

2007-06-21T11:15:00.000+08:00

I like words and images. 'Blue' was one of my favourite words. I liked the feeling it made on my lips and tongue when I said it. Words have physical feeling, not just meaning.

Tokyo National Museum Hyokeikan

2007-06-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

日本

2007-06-15T14:37:00.000+08:00

現在是日本的梅雨季節。的確如此，綿綿不斷的細雨一直伴隨著此次日本之行。據說，全世界範圍內的梅雨現象是東亞特有的——中國的江南和日本。事實上，梅雨的說法也是由中國傳到日本的，早在漢代，有“賀梅子”外號的詩人賀鑄就寫下了“一川煙草，滿城風絮，梅子黃梅雨”的詩句，“梅雨”因此而來。

在東京街頭步行了三、四個小時，雖然已是深夜，但夜東京依然燈火輝煌，依然井然有序，一切都是那麼有秩序，和白天一樣。在東京大多數人都是坐地鐵上下班，大多數人工作生活狀態類似。在日本生活就是這樣清晰明瞭一切都是按部就班，沒有太多後顧之憂，沒有什麼意外發生，其實這就是生活，正常的生活。下班之後有人娛樂或喝酒，有人看書，有人談戀愛，每個人都在做自己應該做或喜歡作的事。

其實，人在哪里，生活的內容實質都是一樣的，吃喝拉撒遊購娛，區別就在於品質，在於心態，是否有一種物質與精神的雙重滿足感。免於物質匱乏，免於精神恐懼，公平、正義、言論自由、心情舒暢，對未來有預期，沒有恐懼感，這才是一個正常社會，一個理想之國。這樣的國家與社會才是值得它的公民引以為豪，發自內心去熱愛。否則奢談愛國主義甚至強迫人們去愛國，那又有什麼意義呢？所以，在日本，一般是不會灌輸什麼愛國主義的，因為，老百姓心中自有一桿秤。

Happy Birthday to YOU

2007-06-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

It's your birthday! But you don't look any older;

You don't sound any older;

You don't act any older...

Are you sure this birthday is really necessary?

I would rather be at 30 than going back to 20. I may have worse eyesight, may be slower in response, but I believe I am a better gal than when I was 20, so I don't give a damn on the youth thing.

Clingy feeling

2007-06-01T09:12:00.000+08:00

Jealousy

2007-05-31T15:08:00.000+08:00

2004 Summer - Cross-road

2007-05-30T13:46:00.000+08:00

2004 Summer - SHE

2007-05-29T11:36:00.000+08:00

2004 Summer - HE

2007-05-23T16:50:00.000+08:00

Relationship that rarely works

2007-05-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

Just because we know something doesn't mean anything. Something can never really mean anything until we do something with it. We must do something - whatever it takes - to make our relationships the relationships we love being in. We must always carefully consider what action to take. Action without thought is only thoughtless action. That rarely works.

Knowing this does not mean our relationships will always be great. We have choice. Every choice has a consequence. The dilemma is this: there are two people. That means we have two people making choices and there are a multitude of choices each of us could make. Each love partner is only and always responsible for their own choices.

Relationships are individual projects first - the one with ourselves - and mutually beneficial projects second - the one with ourselves and our lover. Taking responsibility for our own stuff is a wonderful gift we give ourselves and our love partner. Relationships take our constant attention; every day and every minute. It is when we forget this that problems begin.

No better time to be happy than now (II)

2007-05-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. A real life. But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start. I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life. That point of view helped me see that there isn't any road to happiness. Happiness is the road. So, enjoy every moment. Stop waiting to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn... before deciding to be happy. There is no better time to be happy than... now!

Live and enjoy the moment.

No better time to be happy than now (I)

2007-05-11T09:18:00.001+08:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire, or once we are married, have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we'll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when? Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

Shanghai

2007-05-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

舊吉士

Just back from Shanghai. Shanghai had a special hold over me. Although I grew up in HK, my parents and grandparents had met and lived in that exotic mixture of east and west for quite a long time, yet I knew little of what their lives were like. You met someone, you fell in love with them, circumstances forced you apart.

To my lost loved friend

2007-05-08T10:19:00.000+08:00

It's your birthday. Just because you are no longer physically with us, memories of you fill my mind and heart. You are my real friend who can never be replaced, only remembered. Fact is, time heals nothing. It will always hurt like hell to remember anyone who has died. I think I will feel better after writing you a letter instead of blocking it all out. The more I talk and remember, the more I will be able to cope. This is hard stuff, it really is.

Is marriage all that you want?

2007-04-27T10:26:00.000+08:00

Is marriage all that you want?
Or someone you can share the rest of your life with?

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. And you can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

Why not lips on lips, since eyes in eyes?

2007-04-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

Why not lips on lips, since eyes in eyes?

For last night

2007-04-25T11:22:00.001+08:00

For last night

2007-04-25T11:14:00.000+08:00

Wounds from past relationships

2007-04-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

Wounds, from past relationships, projected into your next relationship will cause problems. Better to think that you have learned from your past mistakes and don't want to repeat them. One needs sensitivity, maturity, and strength to forgive, forget, and move on, even if some scars may remain.

I just had to be the best me I could be. It may not sound like much to anyone else, but it was important to me. I am somewhat relieved that I am finally going to feel the freedom. I truly believe our attitudes and moods are our choice and right now I choose to be happy. Most importantly, I remind myself to enjoy every moment of every day. And if you can do something, DO IT, DO IT NOW.

Where is your dream II

2007-04-23T10:19:00.000+08:00

Every now and again, when things get rough, I remind myself of all the things that I have accomplished, all the things I have yet to accomplish. The most fascinating thing I have done so far in my life is --- painting, just because I love it so much, then you'll indulge yourself in it. It will relax my mind and my body will produce invincible happy hormones that protect me from anything. If drawing is my dream, what can I do now? Quit my job and go for it without any back-up plan? Who will support my parents then? We can make only one decision in life. We are not granted a second, third or forth life in which to compare various decisions.