Relationship that rarely works

Just because we know something doesn't mean anything. Something can never really mean anything until we do something with it. We must do something - whatever it takes - to make our relationships the relationships we love being in. We must always carefully consider what action to take. Action without thought is only thoughtless action. That rarely works.

Knowing this does not mean our relationships will always be great. We have choice. Every choice has a consequence. The dilemma is this: there are two people. That means we have two people making choices and there are a multitude of choices each of us could make. Each love partner is only and always responsible for their own choices.

Relationships are individual projects first - the one with ourselves - and mutually beneficial projects second - the one with ourselves and our lover. Taking responsibility for our own stuff is a wonderful gift we give ourselves and our love partner. Relationships take our constant attention; every day and every minute. It is when we forget this that problems begin.

No better time to be happy than now (II)

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. A real life. But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start. I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life. That point of view helped me see that there isn't any road to happiness. Happiness is the road. So, enjoy every moment. Stop waiting to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn... before deciding to be happy. There is no better time to be happy than... now!

Live and enjoy the moment.

No better time to be happy than now (I)

We convince ourselves that life will be better when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire, or once we are married, have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we'll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when? Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

Shanghai

舊吉士

Just back from Shanghai. Shanghai had a special hold over me. Although I grew up in HK, my parents and grandparents had met and lived in that exotic mixture of east and west for quite a long time, yet I knew little of what their lives were like. You met someone, you fell in love with them, circumstances forced you apart.

To my lost loved friend

It's your birthday. Just because you are no longer physically with us, memories of you fill my mind and heart. You are my real friend who can never be replaced, only remembered. Fact is, time heals nothing. It will always hurt like hell to remember anyone who has died. I think I will feel better after writing you a letter instead of blocking it all out. The more I talk and remember, the more I will be able to cope. This is hard stuff, it really is.

Is marriage all that you want?

Is marriage all that you want?
Or someone you can share the rest of your life with?

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. And you can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

Why not lips on lips, since eyes in eyes?

Why not lips on lips, since eyes in eyes?

For last night

For last night

Wounds from past relationships

Wounds, from past relationships, projected into your next relationship will cause problems. Better to think that you have learned from your past mistakes and don't want to repeat them. One needs sensitivity, maturity, and strength to forgive, forget, and move on, even if some scars may remain.

I just had to be the best me I could be. It may not sound like much to anyone else, but it was important to me. I am somewhat relieved that I am finally going to feel the freedom. I truly believe our attitudes and moods are our choice and right now I choose to be happy. Most importantly, I remind myself to enjoy every moment of every day. And if you can do something, DO IT, DO IT NOW.